Dating apps have changed the game for dating.
I mean, you’ve got Bumble, Tinder, coffee Meets Bagel, Hinge, Match.com. eharmony.com, plenty of fish.
There’s so many dating sites, dating apps out there.
But what does God say about dating apps?
Now I know, I don’t mean to make this all like deep and spiritual, but I think that when we are walking this like Christian walk, we get this opportunity to invite God into our dating life.
And so today let’s talk about dating apps.
Now, I can’t say that I’m super excited to talk about dating apps because your girl over here is single, and God has a lot to say to me about dating apps.
So we all know that the Bible says that “it is not good that man should be alone”
We also know what the Bible talks about, “and when a man finds a good thing, he obtains favor from the Lord and all that” Let’s just look up those scriptures as we always use scriptures.
All right, in Proverbs 18:22 “The man who finds a wife finds a treasure and he receives favor from the Lord”
I’ve never done this study before, but let’s do a quick study on the see.
What does the Bible say about a woman looking for a husband?
So Dr. Google says, “Is it wrong for a woman to look for a husband?”
The Bible says that when a man finds a wife finds a good thing, does that mean a woman shouldn’t be looking for a husband?
And so people on the internet are like, “We don’t know”
There’s not really a whole lot of Scripture.
And the one scripture that somebody did post is First Corinthians 7:2. And it says, “But Paul says, but because of the temptation, the sexual immorality, each man should have his own wife and each woman with her own husband”
But it does not say that a woman should not go and look for a husband, right? It just says that a man will find a wife.
I don’t really know the answer to that with God, but here is something that I know.
We have the Bible, and the Bible says A, B, and C, but we also know that God is not dead. Jesus is not dead. The Holy Spirit is not dead.
We get this opportunity to actually be like, “Okay, God, in the Bible, your Bible says A, B, and C, but it doesn’t say anything about me over here finding a husband or like putting myself out there to find a husband. What do you say?”
So we get this opportunity where we can actually go to God and we can ask God like, “What is it that you feel about me going out there and finding me a husband? Like what are your thoughts on that?”
And so the same way I have that is we get this opportunity to ask God, “how do you see dating apps?”
Because here’s the deal.
So when you look at dating apps, it gives you this opportunity to set up a profile and you say who you are, all the things about you.
And then you can set up your preferences. Like this is the kind of guy that I’m looking for.
And so if I was on a dating app, I could set up those preferences and then those are the men that are gonna show up on my screen.
And then I could either swipe right and say I’m interested, or swipe left and say that I’m not interested.
And then the same thing goes for us.
When they’re looking for us, we show up and they either can swipe right or swipe left to us.
When I think about what God says about dating? I know what He says about dating apps for me now.
I have friends that have met their spouses on dating apps.
I have a prophetic, powerful deliverance minister who met her husband on Skype. He connected with her, reached out to her. And she was like, “I don’t know who this is, what’s going on here?”
But he pursued her. And when she went to God and went to her mentors in them, they were all like, “we are getting a yes from the Lord”
And so there was that on Skype. It wasn’t a dating site.
And so here’s what happens for me.
Every time I get on a dating app, usually it’s within a day, sometimes it’s within two days.
I will go to sleep at night and then I will have a dream, and there usually will be a series of dreams. Back to back dreams where there’s confusion, there’s chaos, and somebody shows up from my past, a past relationship where I’m crying in the dream.
And when I literally wake. I am sad. I have very sad emotions about all those feelings and torment and trauma that I felt in that past relationship.
So, here’s the deal. So I live in San Diego, and San Diego is only like 6% black.
Now I date all men, right? But a man has to be used to dating a black woman to pursue me or whatever.
And so in this town, I can’t say that there’s enough men that have dated black women. I can’t say that.
And so I have not gone on a date. I’ve been here for two years and I have not acted out that one time and that’s okay.
It’s not okay, but it’s okay.
When I was getting on dating apps in San Diego, I was never connecting with anybody, meaning like nobody was inboxing me or whatever.
But when I would go to LA now, LA is like, there’s a lot of men that are black, white, Puerto Rican, Asian, and all that have dated black women and they’re there.
They swipe, inbox talk, all the things when I’m in L.A.
So I was in L.A. a couple weeks ago, and even though I know better, I downloaded a bumble, set up a profile, and immediately started getting hits.
But it was late at night and I’m going to sleep.
Went to sleep that night. Woke up to a crazy dream, was so emotional about my ex-husband and me crying and all that stuff.
And when I woke up, it just did not start off my day well.
Now a couple months back, I had gotten back on the app again.
Because I was just maybe.
And I had a series of three dreams where I’m like getting married and I can’t find the groom. I’m looking for the groom everywhere. Can’t find him.
In the dream, I’m excited. My friends are there and they’re all excited, but we cannot find the groom. And I had like two or three other dreams about not being able to find the groom through that as well.
And so finally I just said, “Well, God, what is so wrong with dating apps?”
He said, “Well, it’s not about something wrong with the dating apps. It’s something wrong with it for you.”
And I said, “Well, what is wrong with it for me?”
And he said, “Well, you’re not gonna meet your husband on a dating app. And then, if you keep going on these dating apps, they’re just gonna make you feel bad about yourself”
And I was like, “What do you mean?”
He goes, “Well, if no one is pursuing you over time, it’s gonna make you feel like you’re not pretty. It’s gonna make you feel like you’re not good enough. You’re not wanted, you’re not desired, because nobody is doing anything”
And as much as I didn’t like that, it felt like a gentle love hug from God of being like,”I love you so much, that I don’t want you to have that experience”
And so even though I have my moments where I wanna get on him, I get on him and get off from me.
Ultimately I know that he’s saying, “This is just not good for you. This is hurting you more than it’s helping you”
Right now, that does not mean that that is the case for everybody, that that is the case for you.
But we love God and we want what God wants, and he wants us to have what he has for us.
When we ask ourself the question of, “Does God like dating apps?”
It’s really important for you! For you to ask him. Not in general, but for you.
Because that’s what I had to do for myself.
Some of my friends have met amazing people on dating apps and they’re amazing people on dating apps and He hasn’t given them red lights, but he gave me the red light for me.
And so I feel like the smartest thing for you to do is just to ask Him how God feels about dating apps FOR YOU?
It’s all case by case.
I remember one season of my life, especially right after I’d gone through divorce.
I was on dating apps to get some comfort.
I wanted to be desired.
I wasn’t gonna do anything with any of these men, but I wanted to be desired and I wasn’t ready to be in a relationship.
So I was on them for the wrong reasons. I would’ve ended up hurting somebody. By me being there and not being ready to actually get into a relationship.
Because if I got with a man, we fell in love and I wasn’t ready to commit, then that’s unfair for him because I wasn’t ready and I put myself out there in a place acting as if I was ready to be married.
And so that with me, I got off back then, and then now God’s like, “No, it’s not good for you because it’s just not what I have for you”
Because we’re here in the series of dating, preparing for marriage and all that.
I really want you to get in this habit of talking to God about everything.
Some people will say “it’s not that deep, it’s just a dating app”
But it is that deep when you’re talking about lifelong commitment, right?
When you’re talking about meeting somebody who could set you on the right path or the wrong path in your life.
I always say I’m not mad at my ex-husband, but I’m like, “if I had not been with him for the time that I was with him, I could have been focused on all the things that I was focused on”
I was so focused on him and on us. And us creating together that I wasn’t continuously going after all the gifts and talents that I was given.
I just wasn’t, and then I ended up with so much heartbreak, so much turmoil.
I mean, just so much crazy stuff has happened in my life since ending that marriage, and some I don’t even talk about yet, but it really rocks you to your core.
And as you continue to heal, you start to reveal, “oh, this part isn’t healed yet”
So I really want you to just give yourself the opportunity of asking God about it. Give himself the opportunity to be able to talk to you.
Because He might say, “actually it is gonna be good for you and you should probably go and get on Plenty of fish, or you should go and get Coffee Meets Bagel”
He may tell you that, right?
Me? He’s saying NO.
And so my job is to be obedient.
So if you’re considering getting on the dating apps. I want you to just think about it. I want you to just talk to God about it.
Don’t talk to friends, pastors, or whatever. Talk to God. He’s alive. He’s a key cares. And if it’s okay for you to be on, he’ll let you know.
Furthermore, going on a journey with God can prove to be one of the most amazing experiences of your life, but it can also prove to be a little confusing.
And I want to walk alongside you and help you to not only fall more in love with Jesus than you are today, but truly discover all that lies within you.
The bible identifies 25 different spiritual gifts that are still in operation today, and it may be surprising to you, but one or some may also lie within YOU!
We have created this simple quiz that is designed to be a guide for you.
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