Fear is so paralyzing.
I mean, fear will keep you from doing anything.
Everything.
I have had so many moments where fear has had me in a choke hold.
I know that sounds funny, but it is true!
And you know exactly what I’m talking about.
In this article I’m gonna talk about, asking yourself the question “Is fear what’s holding you back?”
This is not the most fun subject, we’re talking about fear, but it is a subject that we all deal with or have dealt with.
I have dealt with fear and I deal with fear all the time.
I have a really big, bold personality, and this is a God-given personality.
This is just how I was created.
I didn’t make myself this way.
And because I have this personality, so many people think that that means I don’t have fear, and I think that people tend to say “big personalities and fear don’t coexist”.
Like a person can’t have a big personality and not deal with fear.
That’s not true. We all deal with fear.
Recently, I spoke at a conference called Social Media Marketing World.
I think there may have been 700-800 people in the room. Before I got there, I was nervous, and I’m always nervous before I speak.
I warn everybody. I warn the person that’s gonna walk me to the room.
I warn the makeup artist. I warn everybody just like I am dealing with fear because I get nervous before I speak.
But people think that the concept of that does, does not compute.
But what I wanna say to you today is that everybody deals with fear. Everyone!
However, there’s one thing to have fear and that paralyzes you and keeps you from achieving your goals.
And there’s another thing to have fear and choose to operate in spite of it.
And me, I am the one that says, “I feel the fear” and I’m gonna tell you that I feel the.
But also, I am going to keep going because on the other side of this fear, there is something.
So I’ll give you lots of examples.
One, when I spoke at Social Media Marketing World.
Two, I am getting ready to have invasive surgery cuz I have some growths in my uterus and so I gotta have invasive surgery.
I have some fear around going under, being cut open, and then waking up in pain.
There’s fear around that.
When I found out that my ex-husband was being unfaithful, I had fear about leaving.I had fear around staying. I had fear around what were people gonna say? I had fear around whether I ever met someone, anyone.
All of that was happening.
I am still going to have my surgery because I can’t have gross stuff happening in my stomach.
I still chose to leave my ex-husband. Because he was being unfaithful and wasn’t changing.
And I am still believing that I am gonna meet someone who’s gonna be a beautiful human being, who is going to love me in all of my ways right now.
Do I have some fears about going under?
Yes.
Did I have fears about not meeting anybody ever again?
Yes.
Do I have some fears around what is it gonna be like with this person? Will he hurt me or whatever?
Yes.
All those are there, but I care more about the possibility of the good things that could happen.
So, Right now, when I think about where I was when I first started my business back when I first got into entrepreneurship, this was back in 2002.
I was recruited into a network marketing organization called Prepaid Legal. It’s called Legals Shield Today.
And I had some fears around joining the company becauseI had heard network marketing was a pyramid scheme and all this stuff had fear around it.
I didn’t know it was fear, but I had fears around it.
Then as I started building a business and building a team, the person that had recruited me, told me that I was gonna have to learn how to do the presentation.
Like, how to get up in front of a crowd of people, talk about the product, service, and talk about the business.
I was gonna have to do all those things and I was like, “I am going to butcher this. This is going to be a nightmare on Elm Street!”
I was scared, but he pushed me and he pushed me and he pushed me and I was afraid.
But when I think about that time in my life, if I had said, “I am never gonna do this!”, then guess what?
I would not be doing what I’m doing today, like on YouTube, on the podcast speaking, the social media marketing world.
I wouldn’t be doing any of what I am doing today, had I stayed there.
And had I not started my first business back in network marketing.
There is no way that I would ever even think of or dream of being able to start my own business.
Leaving my corporate job that was paying me six figures and thinking that I can sell products and services to people I’ve never met on the internet.
Just think about that.
Leaving a corporate job, paying me six figures to start a business, to teach people about marketing, TikTok, marketing strategy and all that to people on the internet that we have never met.
So every time I look at these opportunities to be afraid, I’m like, “Oh yeah, that’s real. I feel that that’s very real.”
I am not excited about the possibility of where this could go, like the negative side of it.
I am not excited about the possibility of how bad this could go, but I am more so excited about the possibility of where this could go from a positive standpoint.
So as you read this article, I want you asking yourself this question.
What is actually happening with you?
What are things that are happening in your life right now that you feel fear around?
Yours may be getting into a relationship or leaving a relationship.
Yours may be choosing to have kids.
Yours may be about starting a business or may be leaving your job or changing your job.
Yours could be on the journey of going to the gym to lose weight and get on this healthy journey.
It could be a lot of things.
I remember when I was afraid to cut off all my hair because years ago I used to have a relaxer. And so my hair was straight. I would use a chemical that would straighten my hair and all that.
So the thought of trying to see what my hair looked like, natural, what I had fear around it, I was like, “I’m gonna look so ugly.”
I had so much fear around it.
But I had these moments when my hair was starting to grow out from the relaxer, I would kind of look at my scalp and I would say, well, I wonder “Is my hair pretty underneath it?”
I had so much fear around it being ugly that it kept me from actually going through the process of what we call going natural.
When I finally did cut my hair off, I felt like I was ugly.
But I just kept going on the journey to let’s just keep on with this process.
Let’s just keep trying this and like this product and let’s just keep trying this whole journey and seeing, and so now today, I love my hair.
I mean, I just love my cute little hair.
I get so many compliments on my hair and this is my hair. This is how my hair is.
And so on the other side of fear of what I was gonna look like or people judging me.
Here I am today, loving my hair and everywhere I go I get compliments about, “Wow, I love your hair. I just love your hair.” I get it all the time.
From men, women, boys, girls.
I get compliments from so many people saying, you’re so fearless. I’m like, “No, no, no. I’m not fearless. I’m just doing this in spite of fear.”
I get so many compliments of, “Look at you Keenya, like the cards have never been stacked for you.”
Never, not from birth. My mom, dad, never.
And I’m like, “Yeah, thank you for encouraging me.”
I just need you to know that I wasn’t always here, and every day I am just going on this journey, even through the emotions and fears and hesitancies and all the things that I feel.
I keep going.
The reason why I’m saying it’s all about me, is because you’re listening to me and, and you’re thinking about yourself.
When was the last time that you looked at the thing that you feared the most?
And you said, “Okay. On the other side of this fear, there may be a blessing. So let me go for it.”
I’m not telling you to go jump off a bridge. That’s not wisdom.
But on the other side of saying, “Hey, you know what? I’m gonna start baking these cakes and I’m gonna try to sell them at a bake sale.”
“I’m gonna try to sell them at the next event and see how this goes.”
Or “I’m actually gonna start a YouTube channel. And I’m just gonna start creating videos. I don’t know where this is gonna go, but I’m gonna start it,”
“I’m gonna try to do a podcast or I’m gonna start an account on TikTok. And I am just gonna see where this goes.”
Whatever the feelings you have. “I’m ugly. I sound terrible. Nobody’s gonna like me, nobody’s gonna buy my cake. Nobody.”
Those things are what you’re feeling and still moving forward anyway.
When is the last time that you have decided to do that?
If it’s been a while, then here we are. Right now you’re reading this article. Whatever you feel as you listen to me, I want you going “Okay. What is that one thing that I keep saying?”
What is that one thing, that one small thing that is like you got fear around it and you just have not done it because of the fear that you have around it? What is it?
Think about it.
Write it down.
And what I want you to do is write down what are the possibilities.
What are the bad possibilities that could happen, and what are the good possibilities that could happen?
And then even though you can feel and sense and all that about the bad and the good, I want you to take a step in the direction of the good.
So if it’s starting a podcast, then I want you to choose a podcast name.
If it is starting a YouTube channel, create the channel.
I want you to start going in that direction.
Because here’s the deal. You’re gonna feel fear throughout the entire process.
When I got up on stage at Social Media Marketing World, I told the crowd, “Man, I forgot what I was gonna say. I’m so nervous”
I said it to 800 people.
And people were just like, okay.
And then I kept going with my talk,
And then the people who booked me to speak in Europe were like, “You are awesome.”
Another company came along and said, “I saw your talk. It was awesome. We wanna fly you to Texas.”
No one has said anything about the fact that I said I’m nervous.
Nobody.
Cuz they were like, “This is awesome.”
I feel like people related to me when I said that, it was like, “Oh, she is just like us.”
You know what I’m saying?
And I’m speaking in LA next week and I may feel nervous there as well.
If I feel it, I’m gonna say it cuz it’s gonna loosen me up and it’s gonna loosen up the crowd.
So that’s it for this week’s article “Is fear keeping you back from achieving your goals.”
If it is, you put a line in the sand today and say, “Okay, we are not gonna do this anymore”
We’re not gonna stay on this side of fear.
We’re gonna go to the other side of fear, because I guarantee you, in 30 days, 90 days, 365 days, you’re gonna look back and be like…
“Look at me. Look at how far I’ve come. Because I felt fear, but I’ve moved forward anyway.”
I hope you found this valuable.
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